Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts Characters
by Taylor Ruggiero
Summary: Ever wanted your own Kingdom Hearts characters? You've come to the right place, for inside this advertising fanfic is the key to ordering the new crazed products! Just one click to happiness, just one click to review! They're waiting...
1. Get Your Own Sora

Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts People

Chapter 1: Get Your Own Sora

Ever wonder what it is like to have a real Sora? Well you've come to the right place, for only $15.00 get a real Sora, including the keyblade cost 5 dollars extra..._Hey people I have to make a living to! _Ahem, as I was saying, get a real Sora with the keyblade and all. He will arrive in a brown crate 5 minutes after you order it. Talk about fast shipping! Here are some things to do with your Sora:

**Hide The Keyblade: **If you want to have a little fun with your Sora, take his keyblade while he isn't looking and hide it somewhere, you then kick back and relax as Sora tries to find the Keyblade. _Warning: Sometimes the Keyblade would come to Sora, so make sure to bolt it another heavy chains..._

**Put Your Sora Asleep: **If you get bored with Sora, you can make him go to sleep for any time being, like...I don't know, maybe 10 years or something..._Warning: Make sure you have extra clouthes for Sora when he wakes up, he might just grow out of his old ones..._

**Dress Up In A Heartless Suit: **Pretend you are a heartless, and start attacking Sora like they do in the game, _sound affects needed..._your Sora will then think you are a heartless and come after you _Warning: If Sora attacks you with his keyblade, making numerous of bruises and cuts, please sign right over here saying that Sora kicking your ass wasn't our fault..._

**I, ------------------- agree that Sora attacking me wasn't Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts company's fault...**

**I, -------------------- will not sue Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts company for any breakings of any items that Sora might cause**

**Signed --------------**

There are some side affects that could happen with your Sora:

**1: If Sora takes off his shoes, RUN FOR YOUR LIFES, could knock out a person from the smell...**

**2: If your Sora decides to go find his friends Riku or Kairi find him right away before he does something stupid like open the washer machine while running thinking it is the door of light**

**3: If you play kingdom hearts 1 or 2 with your Sora, Sora may get over excited by the heartless and uses his real keyblade and smacks the TV with it**

**4: If your Sora starts having weird dreams send him back to us right after you find out...**

Now that you have your Sora, go to the next chapter once I post it and get your own Goofy!

** Sora: Uh...what does this do?**

**Me: **_Looks around _**Um...don't touch the dryer...**

**Sora: But it could be a portal to another world...**

**Me: No, its not get away from it... **

**Sora: **_shrugs _**I think it is..**_goes in..._

**Me: No! Sora dont- **_blinding light, and Sora is gone_

**Me: **_goes over to the dryer _**what do you know it was a portal to another world...**_shrugs _**who knew...**


	2. Get Your Own Goofy

Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts People

Chapter 3: Get Your Own Goofy

And now we're back, this time get your own Goofy! One of Sora's sidekicks and mickey mouse's best friend. Only $13.00 dollars with his weapons. _Unless who don't want Goofy with weapons in your house...and who knows what would happen...so while you order you can say leave the weapons out, for your own safety..._Uh...yeah anyway here are some things to do with your Goofy:

**Get a Your Own Donald: **Get your own Donald which I'll tell you later in the next chapter, so then you can watch Donald kick around Goofy and telling him what to do, _Oh the joy..._

**Put Goofy in a Kitchen: **Put Goofy in the kitchen and ask him to make something, which would probably be a cake, watch on how Goofy dances around the kitchen while your kitchen tools and other things in the kitchen come to life and start dancing and singing, also don't be surprised when Mini Mouse comes out of nowhere and is playing the piano _Warning: Goofy may blow up the cake and ruin your kitchen..._

**Put Your Goofy in a Spaceship: **Have your Goofy go in a Spaceship and watch him fly around your house blasting everything, thinking that they are enemy spaceships ready to attack, _Warning: Goofy might crash into your wall thinking that it is a just portal to another world. _

**Make a castle for your Goofy: **Make your Goofy comfortable, so make the mickey mouse castle like in Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2, make the other characters into card-broad boxes, to make Goofy really at home, _Warning: Once you make the card-broad characters, Goofy might start talking to them, really thinking that they are the real characters..._

Of course there will be some side affects to your Goofy, _what did you think he was perfect? Gosh... _

**1: Don't let Goofy out of the house, we might try to find King Mickey...**

**2: Sora and Donald might come into your home and battle your Goofy away from you and escape to their Gimi Ship**

**3: Keep Goofy away from any big rocks, he might just get knocked out by a flying huge rock**

**4: Make sure there are no traces of black or Goofy will freak out thinking it is heartless**

Okay, now that you heard about getting a Goofy, and want one _don't know why you would want one...but anyway..._read the next chapter once I post it about getting a Donald! _again oh joy..._

**Goofy: **_sees a big load of clouthes coming toward Andy _**Watch out your royal highness! **

**Me: Goofy for the last time, I'm not a king or queen **_turns around and sees big load of clouthes coming toward her_

**Goofy: **_jumps in front of Andy_

**Me: Goofy, NO!**

**Goofy: **_Knocked out_

**Me: **_goes toward Goofy, slaps his face _**wake up...**_ throws hands in air _**aww now this means I need to get a new Goofy!**


	3. Get Your Own Donald

Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts People

Chapter 3: Get Your Own Donald

Ever wanted Donald from Kingdom hearts 1 and 2? _Why is a mystery to me..._Anyway, here is your chance to get your own Donald! WHOO _throws colorful strings in the air..._yeah we didn't have enough money to get confetti...anyway...get your donald at a good price only $1.00..._please take them off our hands..._Here are some things you can do with your Donald:

**Make Your Donald Angry: **Get your Donald angry and watch how he quacks angrily and jumps around..._Warning: May destroy anything at his view..._

**Use Your Goofy To Annoy Donald: **Use your Goofy to annoy your Donald and watch how Donald uses his magic out of anger..._Warning: Donald may blast lighting and leave a hole in your roof..._

**Go Find Bugs Bunny and Leave Him in the same room with your Donald: **Find Bugs Bunny and put him in the same room with your Donald , later walk in to find Bugs saying, "Its duck season!" Your Donald will be saying, "It rabbit season!" _Warning: Your Donald may end up having his beck upside down..._

**Get Whoie, Doey and Louie To Play Pranks on Your Donald: **Have Whoie, Doey and Louie play pranks on your Donald, like dressing up in a ape suit and kicking your Donald's ss..._Warning: Make sure to lock the window just in case a real ape kicks your Donald's ss...instead of Whoie, Doey and Louie..._

Of course there are side effects but take no notice of them...just buy Donald! **Boss: **Andy, tell the folks the side affects or you are out of a job! **Me: **Okay... Ahem...here is the side affects...

**1: Daisy might come over looking for Donald and take him away...him yelling bloody murder...**

**2: Your Donald might slip into a deep sleep like in the game, so make sure you are there when he wakes up to happy dance with him...hold hands...jump around yelling YAY! **

**3: While Whoie, Doey and Louie are there, they might just use a candle to burn your Donald's bottom feathers...ouch...that would hurt...**

So get your Donald now, _please safe us from the millions of Donald's we made..._read the next chapter when I post it about Getting Your Own Mickey Mouse...

**Me: **It's Duck Season!

**Donald: **It's Andy Season!

**Me: **It's Duck Season!

**Donald: **It's Andy Season!

**Me: **_holds up a gun to Donald's beak _Sure about that?

**Donald: **_gulps _It's Duck Season..._runs away_

**Me: **_runs after Donald _Come back here!

**Donald: **_Keeps running until he find Daffy _Run man, it's duck season!

**Daffy: **No it's Kingdom Hearts Season!

**Donald: **No it's Duck Season!

**Daffy: **_holds up a gun _Oh really now?

**Donald: **Gahhhhhhhh! _runs away_

**Me: **_comes out of nowhere _Your right Daffy it is Kingdom Heart Season...

**Daffy: **Let's get him!

**Me: **Yeah come on! _Daffy and I run after Donald_

**Daffy and Me: **IT'S KINGDOM HEARTS SEASON!!!!


	4. Get Your Own Mickey Mouse

Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts People

Chapter 4: Get Your Own Mickey Mouse

Yes the moment you've been waiting for...me talking about getting your own Mickey Mouse! Yahoo..._disco balls appears out of nowhere and colorful lights lit the room..._Oh, yes sorry, that was from the party we had last night about selling all the Donalds...just wait a moment..._takes a clicker out of her pocket and presses the big red button...everything disappers..._Talk about easy button...anyway back to Mickey...you can get Mickey Mouse now for only $20.00. Well what do you expect? Mickey is one of the main characters very important...anyway here are some things you can do with your Mickey:

**Go Find a Boat and Seagull: **Find a boat and seagull for your Mickey and watch as a huge storm appears out of thin air and carries your Mickey around the house in the boat holding onto dear life, watch how the seagull leads Mickey into safety..._Warning: Storm and water may flood your house..._

**Take Your Mickey to Disney World: **Take your Mickey to Disney world where Mickey will fit right into his surroundings..._Warning:...Disney may take Mickey away from you thinking that you sold him from them...can't get money back for that...not our problems..._

**Find a Beanstalk: **Go find a beanstalk for your Mickey, Goofy and Donald so they can climb it and take the golden egg, but before that you must rent a giant over than that it wouldn't work..._Warning: House may get destroyed from giant trying to catch Mickey, Goofy and Donald..._

**Have A Magic Show: **Have a magic show with your Mickey and Donald, watch how Mickey does magic on Donald getting all the claps and cheers and watch how Donald uses magic and gets food thrown at him..._Warning:...well there isn't really no warning for this one...for once..._

So go ahead and buy Mickey, come on now people, just buy them so my life is worth living...but I never get paid for this...so why am I doing this...I should just leave...yeah...that's its...good bye..._opens door and slams it...few seconds later comes back in..._Uh...yeah...I forgot that I have no other place to go since there is nothing in this world only this room...yeah anyways...here are the side effects for Mickey:

**1: Make sure you get Mini Mouse...but not from us since we're not going to sell her anytime soon...hey you can't get everything...well anyway make sure to get her so Mickey will feel at home...good luck...**

**2: Disney may take Mickey away, saying that he is theirs which Mickey is...**

**3: Running out of side affects for Mickey Mouse...**Opps that wasn't suposed to be out loud...

Okay, get your Mickey now, and read the next chapter when I post it on Get Your Own Axel...

**Mickey Mouse: **Pluto! where is my dog Pluto?! _looks around_

**Me: **There is no Pluto toy Mickey...

**Mickey Mouse: **_looks over at Andy's dog Sammy _There you are Pluto!

**Me: **That's not Pluto, Mickey it's my dog Sammy...

**Mickey Mouse: **_Mickey doesn't listen and runs after Sammy _Come here Pluto!

**Me: **_rolls eyes and looks at readers _Sometimes Mickey gets confused...

**Mickey Mouse: **_grabs Sammy and opens door _Go out to your dog house boy

**Me: **_Gasps _Sammy doesn't even have a dog house! _runs after Sammy_


	5. Get Your Own Axel

Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts People

Chapter 5: Get Your Own Axel

_I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it! _Cough cough. _I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it! _Excuse me!!!! _I like to move it, move it------ BANG! _Ahem, anyway…..welcome back to get your own kingdom hearts people! We are back and selling Axel!!!! _Applause applause._ We are selling Axel for $30.00! Why so much? Well face it Axel is the shit! Anyways, here are some things you can do with your Axel!

**Get a Roxas to Keep Your Axel Company: **Buy a Roxas as well so he will keep Axel company! And what I mean by company is _wink wink, nudge nudge. _Hopefully you get the picture. You want your Axel to be happy don't ya? Well get a Roxas then Axel will be REALLY happy!!! _Warning: Be prepared for A LOT of yaoi! Might need to seprate Axel and Roxas from time to time, so it won't go that far!!!!! _

**Buy Axel's Black Cloak: **Don't tell your Axel freeze to death, buy his black cloak! Who knows what's he's finding under there! I know that you know that you don't want to find out. _Unless you have the hots for Axel then you would want to see him naked! _Cough, cough. So buy the cloak! _Warning: If you don't buy a cloak and let your Axel walk around naked, watch out for fan girls. They will kidnap your Axel! Then this whole thing would be a waste of your money! _

**Give Your Axel a New Hair Style: **Tried of seeing your Axel having the same do all the time? Then give your Axel a new hair style! Push him in a chair and work your magic. Like dying his hair blue, pink or even PURPLE!! That would make your Axel different from the others! WOO! _Warning: Make sure you strap your Axel to the chair, chances is that he won't want to get a new hair style. Beware of his fire! _

**Take Away Axel's Weapons: **You should take away Axel's weapons, and see what he does! Hide them around the house so he can't find them. Or even throw them away! You don't want your house to be destroyed because of your Axel! _Warning: Beware, Axel might get mad at you for stealing his weapons, so watch out for the shooting of fire at you._

So come on now! Go buy a Axel. I know you want to! Remember the price is only $30.00! Why? BECAUSE AXEL IS THE SHIT DUDE!! _Hah, you can tell Axel is one of my favorite characters…. _Now go buy on this number, 856-233-Iwannabuyaaxelnow. If you are not happy with your Axel then feel free to send him back, we know many other people who would love to have an Axel. Now here are some side effects of your Axel:

Don't let Axel cook something for you. Chances are he will use his fire and burn down your whole house!

**Don't let Axel out of the house, he might see the mailman and think he is on the good side and beat the living shit out of him! Yeah…and that mailman will probably sue you so that really sucks. **

**Finally, if you Axel gets sick, don't let him go into the fireplace to warm up!!!!!**

Alright, that's it for now, stay tuned for when I post get your own roxas!

**Axel: **_is naked because he doesn't have a cloak_

**Me: **Oh shit…..

**Fangirls: **_scream _Axel! GET HIM!!!!

**Axel: **_starts running down the street_

**Fangirls: **_run after him _AXEL WE LOVE YOU!

**Me: **Crap….now I gotta go buy a cloak!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. Get Your Own Riku

Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts Characters

Chapter 6: Get Your Own Riku!

-----------------

_Comes out from the fire ashes and seats herself in front of the table. _Hello all. I know it has been awhile since I have been marketing Kingdom Hearts Characters....but I have a reason for that! My last product _cough Axel cough, _kinda burned down the room that I resigned in. I was stuck in the land of bad telephone marketers and those bathroom soap packages. But I finally broke free! Now I am here selling our lovable Riku! _Applause Applause. _For today only, Riku is on sale for only $25.99! Stay tuned for the things you can do with your Riku.

**Lock your Riku in a big white closet: **He'll think he is getting trapped behind the door again with Mickey! You'll probably not want to stuck your Mickey in there either so just get a STUFFED Mickey and Riku won't see the difference! _Warning: Ruki may use his kick ass moves to break open your closet door and jump out the window with the stuffed mickey on his back and he'd slide down the rain pipe! _

**Get any kind of fruit and pretend it's a paopu fruit: **Just get any old fruit....apple, pear, banana and tell your Riku it's a paopu fruit. He may doubt you the first time but just assure him it really is a paopu by giving him a cereal box with the words paopu fruit painted from side to side and say you got it from there. _Warning: Your Riku may steal the fruit and go try to share it with Sora.....we all know there's something going on there! _

**Challenge him to a wooden sword fight: **Challenge your Riku to a wooden sword fight in the comfort of your living room! It'll be just like in the game, if you want you can even set your living room to be like the Island with the sand and water and all. _Warning: Getting hurt, having things broken will probably occur when you challenge Riku to a sword fight cause we all seen the game, he's a bad ass fighter. Good luck with that! _

**Trick him into thinking you're the keyblade master: **This may be a hard one to do, because Riku already thinks Sora is the keyblade master, but no problem! You can go to the store get some knives, glue them together. Then use bananas as the handle. Then use a black sheet as a heartless and totally rip it up! Seeing this Riku will believe you are the keyblade master as well and will stay with you forever. _Warning: You might hurt yourself with your 'home made' keyblade. But hey! You didn't buy it from us! Riku also may just try to steal the keyblade and kill you. Who knows. _

So lets go! Order a Riku for only $25.99! Just think about all the wonderful and eventful things you can do with your Riku. Get him now before they are all sold out! Now call this number 435-564-RikuRikuRikuNOW and get him......NOW. Here are some side effects for you Riku:

**1. Raging fan girls might try to steal him away from you, because they don't have any money of their own to buy a Riku**

**2. If you creep Riku out he'll probably think you are an enemy and try to kill you....**

**3. Riku might try and join your Sora in the dryer thinking it is a portal to another world **

**4. Riku might think your dog or cat [if you have one] is a weird heartless, he'll kidnap it and bring it to your Mickey **

Oh yes....before I leave you here happily with your new Riku, I do recall telling you customers that I was going to sell ROXAS next, but sadly the order of roxas characters were delayed because while I was in the land of telephone marketers and bathroom soap, the order came in but nobody was there to sign the papers so they are holding him until next chapter! Please stay tuned for I PROMISE I will get ROXAS back!

**Riku: **Ouch! This keyblade is extra SHARP!

**Me: **Oh yeah, right. Um. yeah just give me that..... _reaches for keyblade_

**Riku: **NEVER _runs away with it_

**Me: **_sigh... _The bananas are starting to rot......


	7. Get Your Own Roxas

Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts Characters

Chapter 7: Get Your Own Roxas

-----------------------

_Voice cracks _HELLO! Excuse me. Ahem. Well anyway, hello. I have some good news, after a long battle at the office to get Roxas, I finally did it! The deliverey people had them trapped under his desk until I would come and get him! Just another company we're going to have to sue... _sigh. _But anyway, let's just enjoy the selling of our Roxas while we still can. He is only $22.05! Now here are some things you can do with your Roxas:

**Have your Roxas meet your Sora [if have one]: **Have your Roxas have a little 'play date' with your Sora. _cough...not like that...unless you want it to be. _Watch them stare at each other for hours, well duh, I think you'd be freaked out if you just met a person who is connected to you in some freaky way. Even introduce them to the game and watch them get even more freaked out! AGAIN duh. I think I'd be a little confused if I saw a game that had myself in it. _Warning: Don't be surprised if the all so famous slash goes on between the somebody and nobody. Hey! Who knows! _

**Create a city, make Roxas live in it and pretend to be one of his friends: **Yes, this one does kinda sound lame, but hey! Where's the creative side? You can make a city out of your couch pillows and blankets. I really don't think Roxas would know the difference! _Probably.._ And if you are some crazy fan of Roxas you can inform him that he has been living there all his life and that you are his girlfriend/boyfriend. _Do you really know how Roxas swings? Warning: Roxas probably won't by it and try to find his REAL friends and think you are some like of rapist like Michael Jackson with the Neverland theory. _

**Simply touch his hair all day: **I really don't think I need to explain this one...but I will anyway. Come on now, who DOESN'T want to touch Roxas's hair! Its so spiky and blond! You'll have fun poking at it all day, and don't feel shy to get the scissors out and cut a few for later. _Stalker...._ You might be able to sell that piece of hair on ebay. _Then that would mean whatever the money you made off of it you would have to give to us because we sold you Roxas! _Tough luck! _Warning: Roxas may get angry and try to bite your hand off for touching his hair. _

**Tell your Roxas that his long lost brother is Cloud: **Well...they may not be, but with the hair they look alike. Tell your Roxas that he has a brother, who is Cloud. Roxas would probably get all excited and go looking for Cloud like Sora went looking for Riku. This will give you some entertainment for you will probably see Roxas chasing Cloud around asking if he has any family albums. _Warning: Cloud would probably get so annoyed by Roxas that he'd kill him and then you'd be left with nothing. Sucks for you. _

_Too busy dancing to the song Poker Face. _What? No! I hate that song! _Chucks out window. _Now that you heard all the WONDERFUL things you can do with your Roxas, buy him now for only $22.05! Uh yeah, there isn't a number for this one so you're going to have to come to well this....little room and go pick it up! I'll be waiting!!!!! _Cause of course the boss stuck me with that job too..._ Here are some side effects for your Roxas:

**1. **Roxas will most probably go run off with your Axel who is running around without a cloak _your bad_

**2. **He would probably get angry that you don't have any salty ice cream and run away

**3. **Roxas will try to do work and expect money from you

**4. **He'd run away from any crazy fan. Period. :D

**Me: **Okay....now thats over...where's my beer! [I really don't drink]

**Unknown: **_knock knock_

**Me: **I wonder who that would be..... _walks over and opens door_

**Fangirls: **ROXASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

**Me: **OH CRAP! LEAVE ME BE AND JUST TAKE THE ROXAS!

**Fangirls: **_run in and grab the Roxas and leaves the money on the table _

**Me: **Never again.......


	8. Get Your Own Heartless!

Get Your Own Kingdom Hearts Characters

Chapter 8: Get Your Own Heartless?

…...

Say what? Are you reading/watching correctly? Why would (insert company name here) even think about selling heartless? Well my dear fangirls and or fan_boys_, since there hasn't been any new products offered in awhile, those dangerously black yet adorable monsters are our last resort! _For now anyway.._So call 555-123-I-can't-believe-I'm-actually-getting-a-heartless! Said price is only a simple one million dollars! _LOL, JK, _it's twenty dollars and fifty five cents. Please sit back tight, because I am going to proceed to list the numerous activities one could possibly complete with a tiny peanut brain heartless! _Whips out long list of parchment, clearing throat-_Oh, don't fall asleep, I see you there!

**Keep your heartless as a normal house pet: **Hm...I dunno how you're gonna pull that off...but beside the point! Run to the store and quickly buy your creature some dog tags and toys! Go for a walk with it! Feed them bananas! _We still have some left over..._Teach your heartless how to jump around idiotically in front of all your family and friends! Boy, you'll be Mister/Misses 'Popular Pants' when you arrive in style, a heartless painfully clinging your probably gamer back! _Warning: Terrible burn marks amongst body is not our problem in any way, go on, get flipping life insurance already! _

**Demand (genderless) heartless to attack on any of the other characters: **_Are you evil or something? _Why would you desire to harm a single hair on (if you bought them), Sora, Roxas, Axel, etc? _Cough, cough, _excuse me. Here I am blaming you when I'm suggesting you to do it! _Just remember this; I'm the massager and nothing more! _Have your heartless scare the pants off of Sora which will result in Roxas gaining an unusual new trauma. Axel, on the other hand, will most likely smoke your under-trained heartless considering how he's still pissed about not wearing a cloak. _Warning: Because of possible outcome, you may find yourself without a heartless because the heroes completely destroyed them. Then they might come after you, no matter if you own them or not. _

**Use it to pull somewhat cruel pranks: **This one is my absolute favorite. Ever wanted revenge on a sibling, enemy, unexpecting friend? Aren't you lucky? Control your heartless to act like a giant murderous spider whenever suspect arrives. _I know I would be beyond scared_. Hang it in their closet, throwing a dirty bed sheet over their small body, later claiming there's a haunting ghost lurking around. Have your heartless randomly sting anyone in walking distance! _Okay, honestly, that could kill._ If under the age of twelve, forget about these almost deadly stunts and listen to the other-more safe-options. Trip people with your heartless, make them crawl out of the television screen, similar to the Grudge and scientifically get your heartless to make a sandwich full of worms, maybe 'nicely' serving it to your poor Mother. _See...they're not fun...bring on the deadly! Warning: There can be a murder on your guilty hands, heartless tend to get carried away. Contract means no sue! _

**Teach your heartless to dance decently: **We all see it, those unpredictable (animals?) cannot bust a move on their bland life. Seriously, moving your head strangely and crawling creepy like is not a sure fire way to get..._laid...then again, heartless have no hearts so they can't love...or feel physical pleasure...KEEP IT P.G! _Ship your heartless off to hardcore dance camp unless you want to undergo many sweating hours of attempting to teach it in the familiar atmosphere of your living room. _Warning: Even after going through dance videos, if heartless still has not picked up on Michael Jackson moves, you can't get your money back, be quiet. _

_Folds up list and takes out an entirely different one. _Alright, since you were patient enough to pay attention to my endless ramblings, now we will move onto the side effects of your heartless. _I can't believe they're going buy them...what losers..._What? I didn't say anything. Right...did telling you heartless come in other colors slip my mind? Get a red, blue, yellow, pink or black heartless for the already aware price of twenty dollars and fifty five cents!

**1. **Your heartless may just kill you.

**2. **It could possibly sneak into your washing machine and turn all your clothes black.

**3. **Someone would chase your heartless away in account they think it's an oversized insect, waiting to turn life into a huge horror film

**4. **These fur less villains can destroy the world because they _erm..._produce easily.

**Me: **Damn, I need a new job...

**Heartless: **KDJFKDJFEKRMDKFJDKFDJJD? _Stings_

**Me: **Ouch! Get away from me!

**Heartless: **_Multiples _EIOUEREKRIIFDLFDDJFKDJFKDNIOD!

**Me: **Crap, where is my key-blade when I need it most? Oh wait...we haven't sold those yet! God help me.

**Heartless**: !

**Me: **SHUT UP!

**A/N: Wow, I haven't updated this since last spring! Hopefully there's people still reading, if not maybe I'll gain them back again? Please review with suggestions on the future chapters, that would really help! **


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